Introduction
In the quiet week before my wedding, I found myself revisiting an old wound — a memory of someone I’d loved and lost long before I met the man waiting for me at the altar. The visit to that memory wasn’t planned. It came like a surprise guest: tender, aching, and necessary.
What I discovered that day wasn’t about comparing past loves, but about recognizing how grief and healing shape the way we love again. This “recipe” isn’t one for food, but for the soul — a reminder that choosing love after loss is an act of courage, not betrayal.
Ingredients
1 open heart, scarred but still beating
2 cups of quiet reflection
1 handful of old letters or memories (optional, but powerful)
A dash of forgiveness — for yourself and others
3 tablespoons of gratitude for what was, and what is now
1 long, deep breath before every decision
A sprinkle of trust in life’s timing
Love — enough to share
Instructions
Prepare your heart. Sit in a calm space and let yourself feel everything — the joy, the grief, the fear. Do not rush this step. Healing doesn’t come on command; it arrives when invited.
Stir in reflection. Think about what that past love taught you — not what it took from you. The lessons are the nourishment; the loss was just the vessel.
Add forgiveness slowly. Start with yourself. Forgive the younger version of you who didn’t know better, who held on too long, or who let go too soon. Then, if you can, forgive the person who hurt you.
Fold in gratitude. Remember that every heartbreak prepared you for the depth of love you can now give. Gratitude doesn’t erase pain — it transforms it.
Simmer with patience. Healing takes time. Let your emotions rest; revisit them if needed. Don’t compare your healing process to anyone else’s recipe.
Serve with intention. When you’re ready, bring your whole heart — not the one untouched by pain, but the one that has known loss and still chooses love. That’s the one worth sharing at the altar.
Serving and Storage Tips
Serve: Share this reflection with your partner or write it in your journal the night before your wedding. It will ground you in gratitude and peace.
Store: Keep the memory of your healing as a reminder during hard days of marriage. Love is not perfect — it’s practiced.
Reheat as needed: When life tests you again, revisit these ingredients. The recipe never expires.
Variations
