Smart woman. Minimize the damage.
“And then what happened?”
“Well, when the bill came, it was like watching a play where everyone knew their lines. Your mother-in-law suddenly remembered she’d left her purse at home. Your father-in-law patted his pockets and made a show of realizing his wallet was in the car.”
“I knew it,” I groaned.
“Your brother-in-law, Tyler, claimed he needed to check on his babysitter, and his wife followed him. One by one, they all disappeared, leaving me sitting there with a bill for over $1500.”
“Mom!” I nearly shouted. “Tell me you didn’t pay that!”
“Of course not,” she said, too calmly. “I called the waiter over and ordered dessert.”
“You what?”
“The chocolate soufflé. And a glass of their most expensive port. The waiter looked confused, but I just smiled and said I was still celebrating.”
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.
“But… I don’t understand, Mom. If they pulled their usual disappearing act, and you didn’t pay the bill, then what happened?”
“Well, when the waiter brought my dessert, I asked him to call the manager over for me. His name is Robbie. You must’ve heard me mention him.”
“Robbie? From your teaching days?”
“The very same! He was that sweet boy who always brought me an apple, remember? He owns three restaurants now.”
My mom had been an elementary school teacher for 30 years before retiring. Apparently, she’d taught half the town, including, it seemed, successful restaurant managers.
“We had a lovely chat,” Mom continued. “We caught up on old times. I told him I was waiting for my dinner companions to return with their wallets, and he thought that was just hilarious.”
I smiled. “Oh, I think I see where this is going.”
“Robbie and I cooked up a little plan,” Mom said. “He called your in-laws and very politely informed them that their party had left without paying, but not to worry, they could come back and settle the bill. Otherwise, he’d have to contact the authorities about a dine-and-dash situation.”
I gasped. “He didn’t.”
“Oh, he did. And he put it on speakerphone so I could hear. Your father-in-law started sputtering excuses about going to get cash from an ATM. But Robbie just said, ‘Well, sir, that’s wonderful news. We’ll be expecting you back shortly.’”
“Did they come back?”
“Like their designer pants were on fire,” my mom chuckled.
For illustrative purpose only
“Your mother-in-law was practically purple with rage. But what could they say? They’d been caught red-handed.”
“And the bill?”
“Robbie added a 25 percent ‘inconvenience fee’ for their little disappearing act. All in all, it came to just over $2000.”
I sat in stunned silence before bursting into laughter. “Mom, you’re my hero.”
“The best part was this morning,” she continued. “Your mother-in-law called to thank me for coming. And then she made a point of saying, ‘Just so you know, we always pay our own way at family dinners. Always have.’”
“The nerve of them!”
“Some people only learn when there’s a consequence, honey. I think your in-laws just got an expensive lesson.”
